Spirituality

CREATING CONSCIOUS RELATIONSHIPS

An Interview With Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks
By Mary Nurrie Stearns

". . . with a conscious heart, you are open to the possibility of love and connection every moment - with the paper boy, the bank teller, or your beloved. As you move through life, your philosophy is one of a constant search for the possibilities of connection and unity which inform your ideas. Your ideas begin to serve as connection between people. Your ideas flow toward communion and community."

THE SEVEN SOUL COMMITMENTS As our relationship grew in depth and understanding, we found that there were seven major process commitments that really made a difference. We took years to develop, understand, and embrace these commitments in our souls. Once we did, however, the heart-level satisfaction of our relationship became much more profound. Here are the commitments that we discovered to be essential:

THE FIRST I commit to realizing my full potential for both closeness and autonomy. I open myself to learning about and honoring my essence - rhythms of closeness and separateness, and to learning about and honoring those rhythms in others.

THE SECOND I commit to full expression, to holding back nothing. This means telling the truth about everything, including my feelings, my fantasies, and my actions. I commit to telling the unarguable truth - truth that no one can argue with - instead of giving my opinions, beliefs, and prejudices. I also commit to listening, non-judgmentally, to what people say to me.

THE THIRD I commit to becoming the source of full responsibility for my life, including my happiness, my well-being, and my life-goals. I absolve everyone, living or dead, past or present, from any implication that they cause my feelings or actions in any way.

THE FOURTH When faced with the choice between being happy and being defensive, I commit to choosing happiness; I commit to doing this especially in those situations when my defensiveness seems most warranted and when it is totally obvious to me that I am right and the other person is wrong.

THE FIFTH I commit to learning to love and appreciate myself and others in my close relationships.

THE SIXTH I commit to the full expression of my creativity, and to inspiring the full creative expression of those around me.

THE SEVENTH I commit to celebration as the dominating emotional tone of my relationships. Particularly, I commit to celebrating the essence of myself and those close to me.

THE MASTER COMMITMENT The master commitment is a diamond with several facets. it begins in this way:

I accept relationship itself as my primary teacher about myself, other people, and the mysteries of the universe. I open myself to letting every relationship interaction, no matter how seemingly trivial, deepen my connection with my essence and the essence of others. I invite all healing powers in myself and the universe to remove any obstacles to my relationships being a source of joyful fulfillment to me in all my depths.

I commit to clearing up anything in me that keeps me from full loving unity with myself and my loved ones.

I make a commitment to intimacy that is greater than my commitment to being right and perpetuating my conditional patterns.

(Reprint, Personal Transformation, August 1997 edition)


Copyright © 1996. The Light Party.